As much as Christmas is all about spirituality, togetherness and all that nonsense, it would be nothing without novelty. A festive period with advent calendars, television Christmas specials, over the top advertisements, ludicrous gifts and Winter Wonderland’s would be a sadder time for us all, even if they do somewhat go against the traditions of yuletide.
Christmas singles have also been part of this gimmickry. There have been a number of Christmas number ones which have partaken in some novelty, including Bob The Builder in 2000, St Winifred’s School Choir in 1980, and of course Benny Hill in 1971.
The simple fact is, as shown by reality TV, restaurants where you have to wear sombreros, and the Daily Mail’s showbiz section, the general public love trash. They just love engaging in mindless activity where they don’t have to think about anything, except to revel in the suffering of strangers. Obviously there is an intelligent part of mind which worries greatly about how this is turning humans into soulless robots of some kind who only understand empathy if they’re being told to.
Yet on the other hand, life is difficult for many, people hate their jobs, their spouses, their situations, so escapist entertainment is often the only time people can unwind from the mundanity of life. Why belittle someone for doing something that makes them happy?
So if we accept the choices of the simple, then it also means we can defend them, and there aren’t many characters or creature that need more defending than this gentleman:
Mr Blobby was a genuine cultural icon in the nineties, beloved by children and kids alike. He made his name appearing on Noel Edmund’s Noels House Party, which was a BBC1 Saturday night sensation. Blobby was a mischievous prankster, who would cause havoc on the set, bumping into things with the panache of a taxi rank outside a nightclub at 3am on a Friday night.
I kinda remember the show, but it was at a time when I was a small child who was interested in more than a luminous pink monstrosity with canary yellow circles, plus the bow-tie was a definitely turn off for me. However, looking back at some of his greatest hits on YouTube, I’m taken by his grace, his comic timing and his poise, indeed in this scene his movements are particularly reminiscent of a prime Charlie Chaplin in terms of pure physical comedy.
Here Blobby plays rugby with former England captain Will Carling, a man who also allegedly had relations with Princess Diana, another icon of the decade. Here’s my favourite bit of the video, where two great comic talents work in tandem to create magic.
Blobby also turned his head to soccer…
And even some aerobics:
His legacy though will always be secured by his Christmas number one in 1993, the imaginatively titled ‘Mr Blobby’.
The song initially reached number one on December 11th 1993, knocking off Meatloaf for the top spot. It was replaced a week later by Take That’s Babe, but reclaimed the top spot on Christmas Day 1993, thus making it a Christmas number one. The track was the first song to be number one, and then reclaim it since 1968.
It took two years for Blobby to muster up the creativity of another song, although sadly his second release was less successful. Christmas In Blobbyland reached #36 in 1995.
You can listen to the song, and other songs that have featured on the countdown so far via this handy playlist:
Nine years after release, Mr Blobby was voted the worst Christmas number one of all time, but to be fair the list was created before Leon Jackson released When You Believe. Seriously that cover was properly bad.
As bad as this song though? Let’s be honest, Mr Blobby is properly bad, an early nineties dance number which would have sounded dated even then, but as I mentioned before, there is something about rubbish that makes Christmas what it is.
The music video is also pretty bad, but in that charming way where bad is bad, but bad is also good. It also involves an early television appearance from Jeremy Clarkson, and is also probably the best thing he has ever done.
One worrisome aspect of the video though was a moment where Blobby was the victim of an attempted murder by somebody who looks a little bit like the singer of Shakespeares Sister…
Luckily though he survived that dastardly attack and ended up doing just what he always did, falling down on men, serving jelly, and continuing his psychological and physical assault on Will Carling.
Blobby also had several theme parks, although they did not stand the test of time. One of them in Somerset was used for raves in the years after its closer, leading to sad scenes like this:
And saddest of all, this…
Novelty is a genre some people are rushing to get away from in life. It makes me laugh how certain folk have the audacity to dress like wastemen from the 1980s in stonewash jeans, Morrissey quiffs and oversized t-shirts, yet lack the mental capacity to enjoy the things they’re physically lampooning. Or worse, they like things ‘ironically’, gathering round drinking beer watching Eurovision en masse when they probably couldn’t even point out any of the countries on a map the thick fashion obsessed bastards.
I know, I know. These people have the right to like – or dislike – whatever they want, like the reality TV show fans, or trainspotters, or even people who like Will Carling, but the beauty of life is that anyone from anywhere can make it if they get a lucky break.
Christmas time is where it all comes together. The festive jumpers, the joke Secret Santa gifts, listening to crap tunes and pretending to like people you usually can’t stand. The novelty of Christmas is the novelty of it all. You can enjoy everything that you usually try and hate, because everyone is doing the same thing.
So for the Mr Blobby’s, the Bob The Builder’s, the Crazy Frog’s, the Will Carling’s, and the Leon Jackson’s – I salute and support you. Christmas is for all of us, especially you guys.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve, when you believe? Don’t let me tell you that though, let these…
To catch up on the rest of the countdown CLICK HERE